Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Day 7

My 11am snack, lowfat Vanilla yogurt and a kashi bar. Such a tasty and satisfying choice!

I was so touched and delighted to find out that our intern at work was inspired to do the fat smash diet after hearing me talk about it at work! Hooray!
Not that I'm promoting that diet specifically, but rather the idea of starting to look at my food and make choices that get me closer to my goal of losing weight instead of farther away from it.

What if, instead of consistently feeling bad that I don't know how to prepare healthy foods or eat healthy foods, I decided it was time to actually learn how!? That is a lot about what this all is about for me; removing shame and gaining confidence, creativity, and skills in eating well and being well.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day 6 cravings

So far today: the cheddar and sour cream chips my co-worker is eating right now.
The york peppermint patty I have in my desk drawer.
The hot tamales that are across the street at Safeway.
The Chai and sweet bread downstairs at the cafe.
The wheat thins and cheese that are in the office kitchen.

Deeeeep breeeeaaattthhhsssss. Cravings are normal, but holy moly they're intense today. Where are they coming from?
I think it's because I feel overwhelmed today and a bit stressed about my upcoming work trip. And maybe because my new roommate wants to move in a day early and so that means I have to scramble tonight. And also because I wanted to go for a walk this morning and didn't.

Alright. Eating any of those things won't help.

I need to... make a list about tasks for work. Trust that even if I haven't totally gotten my new room set up, I can get things cleared out by tomorrow. And if I feel like I can't, I can ask my other roommates for help. I can go for a walk later.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Day 5!

More than half way there! Hooray!
The Fat Smash Diet is 90 days, but the first 9 days are definitely the most "strict".
One of the things I've been really nervous about is going out to eat. And today we took our new intern out for lunch. When the staff voted the winner was Thai. Ahhh! Thai, Suriya Thai, so delicious, Pumpkin Curry. So amazing.... What should I do? What can I possibly eat?

Since it was raining we opted for a closer restaurant, Mikado Sushi (also one of my favorite restaurants, yum!). Usually I get salmon teriyaki and california rolls. Not too bad of a choice, but it still has sugar in the teriyaki sauce and then also salmon and white rice and avocado and (imitation) crab... none of which are on my 9 day phase 1 list.
As I sat there with my co-workers I realized I had no idea what to get. Then... I asked for help! I actually think a couple of my co-workers kind of got into it. We were like detectives scouring the menu for a good match.
My co-worker mentioned Soba (buckwheat) noodles, which I hadn't heard of before. Pasta's not on the list, but brown rice is. That's close? Right? So I got Vegetable Udon with soba noodles and tofu added in.
Not bad! I added spices to make it a bit more flavorful, but overall I felt really proud of myself. I didn't even have the mochi that was delivered to the table at the end of the meal. Mmmm mochi.

More chai adventures!

In my quest to find a Chai substitute, I tried spiced chai tea and added some of the Vanilla Almond milk that my co-worker introduced me to. Not too bad! A little sweetness and spice. Progress folks!

My homemade chai

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Day three of the Fat Smash Diet. I definitely needed to make something a bit more substantial. I decided to make Curried Lentil Stew as featured on! Autumn first introduced me to the recipe and I've made it quite a few times since then. Here's the recipe:


Curried Lentil Stew
  • 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
  • 1/2 Tbsp. olive oil
  • 1 large chopped yellow onion
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • 6 cups water or low-sodium vegetable broth or chicken broth
  • 1 1/2 cups rinsed French green lentils (called lentils de Puy)
  • 1 tsp. ground curry powder
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
  • 1/2 cup fresh cilantro

In a large soup pot, heat the butter and olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring constantly, for 1 minute. Add the broth, lentils, curry powder and cinnamon, and bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer.

Cook, uncovered, for 35 to 40 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lentils are fully cooked and tender.

Once lentils are tender, season to taste with salt and pepper, ladle into bowls and top with chopped fresh cilantro leaves. Serve immediately.

The recipe calls for French green lentils, but I found that I like using the regular lentils for this recipe.

The regular green lentils are the light green flatter lentils.

Today I decided to check out this video I'd been eyeing.

The blog Gluten Free Girl has some really gorgeous photos and tales of food and love. Check out the video below, warning... it might make you cry.

Untitled from Daniel Ahern on Vimeo.

Get it... onion. Make you cry... Anyway. Here's my attempt. Not quite as knife savvy as I'd like to be. I had trouble cutting them small enough, but I decided for this stew it was okay to have a bit bigger pieces.

Here's the stew after cooking for a bit.

And here's the finished product!
I topped it with plain yogurt instead of sour cream. Also today I tried making it with water instead of broth. Even though the recipe offers that substitution, it is so much more favorful with the broth. I spiced it up a bit more after tasting it.
A delicious and filling lunch! The recipe is a good phase one recipe and although it called for a little butter and olive oil, I definitely felt like this was a good choice.
I wanted to toast up some bread with butter to accompany it. I didn't though.


I hadn't been to yoga in 3 weeks! The last time I went was at the beginning of the month and I just had such a challenging time. I was falling all over the place and feeling uncomfortable and awkward and unbalanced. Still, I didn't mean to let 3 weeks go by without heading back but I did.

So last night I was understandably a little nervous to head back in the studio. I almost didn't bring my mat with me to work, but I knew I definitely wouldn't go to class if I didn't bring my mat and clothes so I at least needed to be prepared in case I felt up to going. (and I'm trying to set workout goals for myself that I stick to even when I don't "feel up to going").

Last night was "chillsville yoga" Mellow flow with candles and juicy moves. I took it easy though, being gentle with my stiff muscles and uneasy balance. I definitely felt tentative about some of the postures, but overall was glad I went. And I had made plans with 2 of my friends to head to a class this morning. I ended up on the bus with one of the teachers from my studio and we had a great conversation about going back to the studio even when the last class felt hard. He reminded me that I'm not competing with anyone and to just keep going back.

Class was beautiful, my mat sandwiched between 2 absolutely lovely friends. I challenged myself but also was kind and eased back when I felt too strained. And wowsa the post yoga class bliss hit me hard. So grateful for that! And now I'm going to make some lunch. Day three of my "fat smash diet"! I'll share the recipe in my next post, it's one Autumn introduced me to that I was stoked to find out is almost perfectly in line with the list of foods for this week.

Question about the blog front page, is the calendar showing up for you all okay? I've been posting my workouts there and I want to make sure it's showing up okay.

Thanks for reading along, and a big thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming! It's so helpful and really it makes this process feel a little less lonely.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Seasonal eating part I

Another thing that's pretty new to me is the idea of eating foods seasonally. Except for watermelon and peaches, aren't all foods in season all of the time? Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but for reals its not something I've put too much thought into. Some of my friends up here are way into it, even hosting an heirloom tomato brunch to celebrate the start of the heirloom tomato season. I've recently signed up for this great weekly newsletter that my coworker introduced me to, Center for Urban Education about Sustainable Agriculture. (It's specifically through the Ferry Building's farmers market which I haven't been to yet.) Yowsa! But love the idea of particularly the "education" piece. It's possible to learn about food!
According to CUESA
Seasonality Synopsis for March
Returning or plentiful this month: Fennel, pea greens, raw olives, English peas, lilacs, fava beans, hyacinth, parrot tulips, rhubarb, spinach, asparagus, avocados, green garlic, spring onions, nettles, broccoli, rapini greens, artichokes, baby turnips, carrots, fresh goat cheeses, goat meat, pastured eggs, plant starts and maybe strawberries
Winding down/ limited supply: kiwi, Brussels sprouts, cherimoyas, shallots, some citrus varieties like Cara Cara oranges and satsumas.

Pretty hard core huh? Do you "eat seasonally"? Have you found it easy/fun to do?

The Office does push ups!

Ah! Please tell me you saw The Office and the opening sequence about push-ups!
Ha ha! Loved it!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

When you're going to launch an eating overhaul, be sure to plan

...or at least go grocery shopping.
Luckily I have a grocery store right by my job, so I stocked up. But not before a little meltdown.
Seriously.. I did. I was sitting in my cubicle and thinking I was hungry. I started looking through the list of foods that are okay for these next 9 days and I just kind of panicked. My co-worker walked by and clearly read the look of fear on my face. I told her about my food overhaul and suddenly I was tearing up.
She came over and said "Aw buddy!" And then proceeded to look over my list and make some suggestions. Armed with a "you can do it" from my coworkers I headed out the door to the grocery store. I was almost there when I stopped and gave Autumn a call, hoping she'd have some advice and ideas. Autumn has witnessed more than one bout of my food prep panics and puts things in perspective in a gentle but firm way. I couldn't quite explain the fear I was having other than to say I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do this. But then she pointed out "Bethany, you ARE doing this."
I was repeating that to myself as I headed into the grocery store and stocked up on food for tomorrow and this weekend. All on my list! I did make a few choices that might be stretches during the strict phase I: hummus, which has oil in it and a Kashi microwave dinner of rice and veggies that lists one or two things like a natural cane sweetener that I don't think is on the list, but since it was so low on the list and everything else was right one I went with it.

Tonight I made some egg whites and mixed it with beans. It was pretty good. I even used some garlic to help flavor it. One thing was the egg whites were really sticking so I used a small pat of butter to help coat the pan and mix with the garlic. Also not on my list. (If you have any suggestions or things you use instead of butter in your pan, I'd love to hear recommendations).

So overall I'll give myself an 8, maybe even an 8.5. Mostly because I didn't give up! And I'm proud of progress.

New food

My co-worker introduced me to Almond Milk today. It was delicious. Who knew?! I bought some of the original kind. Though I think the Vanilla one could be perfect in my homemade Chai.

Day One!

Woke up singing Janet Jackson's "Control".

There are so many things I don't have control over. (Note: These are the things I often put energy towards. Yikes, that's unproductive. A shift is in order.) But I do have control over what I eat.
So here's to day one of the Fat Smash Diet. One of the main reasons I like this eating plan is it helps to give some structure to my food and it does not involve or advocate starvation or diet pill popping. It also doesn't advocate depravation. It really advocates whole foods. Here's my list for the next 9 days:
-All fruits in any quantity
-All vegetables in any quantity, except: no white potatoes or avocados
-Good sources of protein: chickpeas, beans, tofu, lentils
-Brown rice- 2 cups of cooked rice per day
-2 cups of low-fat or skim or soy milk per day
-As much water as you like!
-Oatmeal- 1 c. per day
-All herbs and spices
-6 oz. low-fat yogurt (2 times per day)
-4 egg whites per day
-2 cups of herbal tea per day

I totally welcome ideas for how to make some creative combos out of this list.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


So I just posted that and yowsa I got freaked out. Can I do that? What about my wine! Eeek.
No! Resolve to TRY Bethany! Just TRY!
You can dooo it!

Time to kick it up a notch

Alright... 3 weeks, 2 pounds. I know, it's not just about the number, but I started this journey because I wanted to feel better, move better... and that my friends means taking off some pounds!
So, we're kicking it up a notch.
About 2 years ago, I did phase I of the Fat Smash Diet and honestly I felt great. I felt more awake (despite the lack of coffee), I felt less stressed out (perhaps from lack of sugar?), and most of all I felt absolutely more present in my day. I remember calling Autumn and practically crying because I felt good but couldn't fathom giving up my favorites long term. And sure enough come day 10 (and subsequently the start of phase II), those old favorites started creeping in.
But hey, let's give it another go!
SO tomorrow.... here we go! Wish me luck!

Even 24 hour fitness says...

"Celebrate the little victories. They add up to great accomplishments!"

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sorry to be m.i.a. this weekend! In part had to log off because I think I was reeling a bit from my last post. It's scary to be so honest sometimes. But I am glad to have shared it with you all, and I'm glad to continue sharing on this journey.

This weekend was a huge all day board meeting for work so I was inside for most of the glorious sunny weather. I did get a ton of arm workouts from my painting though! Not even half way through, but I have made progress.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Weight is nothing but a number... or is it


There. I said it. Fast like pulling of a bandaid or something.

When I told my therapist how much I weighed I started crying. (Though at the time the number was 255.) I think it was the first time I had said it outloud. I felt silly crying in therapy over saying my weight out loud. I pay her not to be judgemental, right? Or actually maybe I pay her to be judgemental-- to tell me the real deal.

I've been contemplating this post for a while, but holding back on it because it feels scary. And then I read this interview from Donna Brazile. In the interview she is asked, "What's the hardest truth to tell?" and she answers, "One's current weight."

Hmmm... I had to ask myself why is that so scary? And the only answer I could come up with is because there is a whole lot of shame attached to it. I feel shame that I weigh so much and allow myself to be held back from things I care about. I feel shame that I let myself think that I don't look like I weigh that much, and convince myself that I can't lose weight. I feel shame because I know that diabetes and high blood pressure runs in my family and the only thing my family wants for me is to be healthy and happy and I still can't seem to lose the weight.
Shame is heavy.........

So... in honor of this being my little truth tube and in honor of working to remove shame, I am telling the truth about my current weight. And really I think the shame weighs so much more than the weight I want to lose.

I am proud of myself because I have started this journey (and feel super proud that since I started this journey, my number is now 251!) Yay for small victories.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Went to ballet and at one point in class my teacher said "Beautiful!" about a move I did!!!
Felt so good.

Functional fitness

As I was running (read: huffing and puffing up the hill) for the bus this morning, I thought about functional fitness. And that term feels helpful because I'm trying to think about reasons why I'm embarking on my "bgettinghot plan". I need motivation that I can grab on to when I'm feeling most... unmotivated. So beyond just wanting to look better and feel more comfortable, I also want to have better functional fitness. Being able to catch the bus when I'm running after it (I did catch it this morning but because it got caught at a red light =), or being able to haul my groceries up my stairs without feeling like I'm going to pass out, or keep up with my niece who will surely be able to outrun me soon.
So yes. That is one of my new favorite terms. Functional fitness. Feeling grateful for all my body can do and wanting to help it out by giving it some better fuel and building up some muscles too!

P.S. Heard a great analogy on Dr. Laura (yes I said Dr. Laura-- she does give some good advice, even though she pisses me off about her opinions on immigration, etc).
If your car gets a flat tire what would you do? (I do not have a car but analogy works just the same).
You probably answered fix it, right? You wouldn't go around and make the other 3 tires flat. The same goes with your eating plan or exercise plan. If you get off track or make a bad choice then you fix it and move forward, not give up and ditch the plan. Love it!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Weight room choreography...

Hi friends,
Do you go to the gym and do strength training? If you do, do you have a routine? Any tips for remembering it?
I usually just putt around lifting this and pushing off of this, but recently I've wanted to get more focused when I'm there so that I can see results and make changes.
I found this book with some weight lifting routines but I'm wondering if it's weird to bring the book with me into the gym. I definitely think I need it to be able to know what to do next. Hmmm.. it doesn't matter if it's weird right? The point is I'm there for me. It's okay if I look like a rookie........ Because, well I am.

My morning

Lovely day in SF. So sunny and warm. I miss warm weather a la San Diego. This morning I went for a little walk. Not too long though. I should have walked longer. These trees are so lovely, they will bloom soon with vibrantly pink cherry blossoms.

Loved the chalk drawings on the sidewalk.

Went to my mailbox and Rachel had sent me a great article from Shape magazine! Thanks Rachel!
This is SO me. Diet Rebel!!! "It won't make a difference any way. It's too hard. I can't give up the foods I love, etc. etc. etc." But that's not trrruuuueeee!!!

Love the suggestion of the flavorful, portion-controlled meals that allow me to feel like I'm indulging. Need healthy and convenient too.
The takeout queen section also had some good recommendations since buying food on the go has been my norm.
Speaking of which, as I work towards changing away from my food norm of eating out all of the time, I have to share a proud food moment I had today!
Last night I made turkey burgers (from a recipe from Cooks Illustrated that added some ricotta cheese, a little worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, and dijon mustard) The combo worked! I'd never tried that before.
Then for lunch I brought one of the leftover turkey burgers and crumbled it in a tortilla with a little hummus, tomato and cheese. It tasted so good! I wished I'd put more veggies in it, or especially lettuce-- but, I'll confess I only made it through have of my bagged salad before it went bad. Anyway, just had to share because I felt proud of me! Like I had been resourceful and creative. Yippee! Is this how it's done?
P.S. Followed this meal with a little bit of dark chocolate m and m's. I was craving sweets and I waited and yup still craving them 15 minutes later. I made sure to account for them in my log though. Now drinking water since I most certainly haven't had enough today.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The hills of San Francisco

Today I headed to the paint store to pick out colors for my new room. I combined my errand with some fresh air and exercise. It was so beautiful out today!
I walked down to the paint store where I was greeted by some of the absolute friendliest and most helpful store employees I could ask for. (And after I'd picked out my colors and asked for the clerks advice he said I had a natural eye for color selection and matching! I hope that the paint looks as good on the wall as it did in the store).
After picking out my paint it was time to head home... uphill! It was a great walk though, about 20 minutes or so and I still marvel at the steps in the sidewalk! Definitely more fun than the stairstep machine at the gym.

Golden Gate bridge in the distance! (I know... I'm still such a tourist sometimes)

Yup, the paint store is waaay down there at the bottom of the hill.

The top!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Holy biceps, Batman!

Whoo whheee! My arms are sore!
That's a good thing though as I work towards my push up!
Did I mention that I am moving into a new room? We're doing some major apartment overhauling and that means I get to transform our living room into my new bedroom. Here's some pics from the beginning of the transformation. I'll keep you posted, especially since with more room I'll be able to set up a little yoga area! I'm so excited.

My roomie contemplates where to begin....

I love built in's!

Under the carpet

Friday, March 12, 2010

Recording my food

I mentioned before I've been logging my food for about 10 weeks or so. I've missed a few days here and there, but I've been pretty consistent!
I've been spending time looking through my log and it's actually turned into a pretty useful tool. One thing I love about this book is that it has room to write out focus areas, for example limiting sugar or drinking my water (added that for you mom =)
I've also been paying attention to my alcohol consumption too. Seeing it all written down has been pretty helpful if not a bit embarrasing. But if I can't share it in the "truth tube" then where can I share it. Thought I'd share a few that stood out to me and helped me get motivated to start this blog and start making some choices that would help me feel stronger and better in my day.

As you can see 1/27.... not such a great food day. Especially dinner, Fruit loops... really?
I love that I had written down next to my food that night "What was I looking for?" What was I upset about or seeking by eating potato chips and drinking beer as a snack and then hours later before I went to bed realizing of course I was still hungry (for some real food) that I scavaged for something quick and chose Fruit loops.

The second log I included definitely feels like progress. I only ate a banana and drank coffee in the morning so by 11 am and headed downstairs to the cafe in our building to get chai and sweet bread. I like that I noted "I needed something more substantial for breakfast".
I brought my lunch that day and definitely made a better choice there. And even though I ate out that night I did at least eat a real dinner.
And I went to ballet and went out rollerskating (yup, I said rollerskating, with some of my friends).

My logs these days are starting to feel a bit more solid. Actual meals and snacks spaced out.
I'm still don't feel super solid on trusting the pause button is there. Using the pause button is like flexing a muscle though, gotta keep working with it, making it stronger!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Finding the pause

There has to be a moment in between when I go to reach for some sugary snack or some ooey gooey cheesy goodness and the moment when it's in my mouth. Where's the pause button?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I realized that a lot of my eating patterns and habits are a reflex. The old standby junk food comforts (temporarily) , it fills (temporarily), and it's almost always within easy reach. So how do I find that pause button?

I'm working on a list.
So far I have:
1) Eat regularly, preferably smaller, healthier, mini-meals so that I am not famished during the day and just grab whatever is closest.
2) Get enough sleep. This helps me be more pleasant and also helps me make better choices since I'm more present in my day.
3) Keep envisioning my goals! My qwocmap film is debuting in June and I keep picturing myself on stage feeling healthier and more comfortable.
4) Get creative!!! There are lots of foods and food combos that I haven't tried and can satisfy cravings in ways that I didn't expect.
5) Savor treats. When I do eat something that is high calorie, enjoy it and stop sooner. Usually I will just keep eating because it tastes good and I can stop sooner or eat a smaller portion.

Hmmm... still working on the list, and obviously it's a lot easier said than done. My hope is that this list will be tools in my "bgettinghot" toolkit to use whenever I need it! Stay tuned.
Oh! And please add anything to the list that you have found works for you.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Brave feet/ Brave Bethany

I went to Ballet!


gotta ramp up the exercise! As you can see from my nearly empty B gets Movin calendar! Stay tuned!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Even small victories can taste sweet

Oh if you could have seen me procrastinating this morning? I woke up early and left ample time to fix food for the day...
My mission: Pack food for lunch, snacks, AND dinner. Yikes!
I hadn't made my chicken casserole yet so I didn't really have leftovers to bring to work with me. I decided I'd just buy dinner; when a little voice that sounded kind of like all of your voices put together said "no! You can doooo it! Get creative!"

And then, I stalled. I did a few dishes. I made my bed. I pondered where missing socks go. You know... everything except pack my lunch.
Finally, I decided to just start. I put on some tunes in the kitchen and got down to business. I packed my snacks first. That was easy. Even lunch seemed manageable. But what to pack for dinner?!?! I decided to pack about 6 mini snack/meals. Little things like my yogurt and granola bar, an orange, a bigger sandwich, a tortilla with hummus, carrots, etc... I figured I'd just graze and since it was fairly healthy stuff that'd be fine.
And you know what?! I made it! I got home late and had one more snack before deciding that I had to document my success. It might seem small, but I know that ordinarily I would have bought coffee and a pastry on the way to catch the bus, then went out to buy lunch with my coworkers, then stopped for dinner before I went to the movies. But instead I was able to piece together a mix mash of things that left me feeling pretty proud of myself.
I know I know... kind of cheesy! But I have to celebrate these small things in the hopes they'll buoy me to the next.
Thanks for reading along.

Sugar detox

Found this Dr. Oz sugar detox plan. Not sure if I'm quite ready to go there but I thought his articles on sugar and sugar addiction were super interesting.
I'm also not a fan of the sugar substitutes. Have you found any subs that offer the sugar fix?

Monday, March 8, 2010

My menu for Monday

Keri asked me to post the menu that I was referencing. Sure! I'll just post Monday for now with sneak previews of my dinners this week. I've been having a lot of trouble making good food choices. My grocery store mission was so that I could stock up and have food at the ready so I can make better choices.

Monday menu

Coffee -I bought it today, but usually I try to make it at home

Oatmeal with cinnamon, milk, 3 tsp of brown sugar and a little hazelnut creamer (it might sound strange, but the creamer we use for our coffee, I put just a little on the oatmeal. It makes it so much more flavorful)

yogurt, 1 Kashi chewy granola bar. I discovered the honey almond kind that's chewy and I love it!

about an hour later I had a banana

1 can tuna mixed with a little mayo, relish, chopped crispy celery

Wheat Thins


york peppermint patty (one of the big ones)

I planned to have a piece of toast with honey and pb but I didn't eat this, instead I waited for dinner since I'm going to have a bigger dinner tonight


Tonight I have a meeting so they're buying dinner

Papalote burritos (YUM) Grilled veggie burritto with sour cream, guacamole chips and salsa
ate the whole thing, wish I had cut it in half and saved some for later
orangina drink

Upcoming dinners this week

Rice and Chicken casserole - Autumns recipe (I'll post the results tomorrow after I make it)

Pasta with broccoli and peanut sauce- also Autumns recipe

Overall I felt really good about my food for Monday. I noticed that I really craved that sweet chai and by lunch I was on a hunt for sugar!! I didn't have a treat til about 2 or 3 when I was really crashing. Have any of you ever done sugar detox? I haven't cut out my sugar but I'm trying to ease up on it a bit. Advice? Recommendations?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Grocery store trip-- goal accomplished! Hooray! Armed with a list that correlated to an actual menu for the week, I enjoyed the lovely Spring-like weather and headed to my neighborhood Safeway. The trip included a first; I bought rice vinegar to use in a recipe which I've never used. I am going to use it this week in a pasta dish. Not sure yet what else I will use it for but there's a website I heard about where you can type in the ingredient and they'll pull up recipes that use it.

What do you think? Is it worth it to buy bagged salad if you're more likely to eat it?

I bought celery for the first time too. My Gma uses it in tuna and I think it sounds like a good idea. The green thing above the bananas in this picture is my reusable bag that Lau gave me for my birthday. I remember when I first moved here, I went shopping and asked for my groceries to be double bagged paper inside of plastic. Everyone in line gasped. The clerk said "where you been lady? That's illegal." Who knew! No plastic bags in major grocery stores. Took me a while to bring my reusable bags on the regular but now I like it. It's a habit I wish I had started a long time ago.
My walk from the grocery store to my bus stop. Lovely day!

That's the Golden Gate bridge! It's lovely!
I'll keep you updated on my progress this week in terms of actually using the food for my lunches!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Push-Up! Part #1

It's Saturday! Hooray! Today I'll share with you a little video that is about my goal of doing pushups off of my knees. As a heads up, about :10 seconds into the video it turns sideways, but don't worry it'll switch right side up as soon as I start to actually attempt the pushup. That sound you're hearing besides my voice is indeed the famous San Francisco wind. I promise to try and be a bit more tech savvy for future videos. For now though... enjoy! And stay tuned. I'll post a "Push-Up part 2" video in about 6 weeks!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Oh, you mean I have to plan my meals ahead of time?

Yesterday-- excellent on the working out. Went to yoga despite how unbelievably comfortable my pajamas and bed were. It was one of the most intense classes I'd been to in a while. "Just stay in the moment Bethany. Oh and breathe. Oh and don't fall on your face." Yup, that was pretty much on repeat for the whole hour and a half.
Hoorah for yoga! And today sheeeow I am sore but in a good way.

But on the food front... not so great. Got a super sweet chai and pastry (hence the motivation for my post yesterday), and had a heavy lunch and not so healthy dinner. It was like it was snowballing. I couldn't quite get a hold long enough to pause and follow up the one unhealthy choice with a better one. The slippery slope got me and I just let it ride.

Autumn got me a menu planner notebook and I remember I was SO proud of myself as I emerged from the grocery store with food based on an actual planned menu for the week ahead. But turns out I have to keep doing that. Not just once. So my goal this weekend is to sit down with my notebook and go grocery shopping so I'll have food to use to pack my lunch.

I also have to remember I can keep it simple! Sometimes I get too elaborate and it makes follow through hard. Until this becomes a habit (which it can, right?) I need to keep it simple and keep it up!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

New features on the site!

I've been trying to figure out ways to track my exercise on the blog and then... behold the power of Google. I've put my "B gets movin" calendar up. I'll be updating it with my workouts as they happen. If it doesn't show up on the page you may need to push refresh to have the workout "events" actually show up.

For the loooove of Chai!

Venti, Nonfat, Extra hot, No foam, with 6 pumps (that's one extra) of chai please

(If you've been to SBUX with me, you know that the ordering of this drink borders on annoying. But I can't help it. You work for the BUX for any length of time and on slow days you perfect your favorite drinks.)

Oh dear. I love my chai tea lattes.

Turns out. That according to the SBUX website that little fix of mine is costing me 260 calories (more since I get an extra pump of chai deliciousness) and almost $4 bucks. The 260 wouldn't be so bad except for my propensity to couple the chai with a delicious pumpkin scone. YUM!
I tried the oatmeal. It was pretty good! Still I just feel like there could be healthier ways to start the day that don't involve a sugar blowout. Any ideas for making a lower sugar yet delcious chai at home? I'm thinking steeping chai tea and then adding it to hot Nonfat milk. Maybe a little sugar? It won't be the same as the SBUX chai but far less calories** and dollars!

**A note about calories. I'm not really counting calories right now. But I am trying to actively make healthier food choices. I've been recording my food in a food log for a while now and so I'd like to use that as a tool to start noting patterns and food habits.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Are Bethany and Ballet mutually exclusive?

I skipped ballet today.

I hadn't intended to.

I had clothes for ballet (an old Padres shirt and workout pants)
I had my ballet shoes.
I could have left my work projects for tomorrow... but I still skipped ballet.

About 6 months ago I realized I missed dance. My parents put me in dance class when I was 3 years old. And although I took years at a time off from regular classes, it's always been a part of my life in some way. So when I realized that I missed dance, I remember looking down at my out of shape body and at the same time I was feeling the longing to move, I also felt a knot of fear about entering any studio here in my new city.

I heard about ODC's beginning adult ballet class and it sounded like a perfect fit.

Adult beginning ballet at ODC is a beloved and important workshop to the dance program. Utilizing body awareness and sound ballet technique, the class is taught progressively over a one-year period in three quarters – beginning in September, January, and June.... Everything will be explained and questions are welcome in a nurturing and non-competitive environment. Each quarter builds on the information of the previous quarter.... We are committed to teaching ballet and how to make it feel right for each body.

Yes! That's it. The day before the start of the September session, I dusted off my ballet shoes and took lots of deep breaths. I remember giving myself a pep talk as I entered the studio.
"I'm here for beginning adult ballet please."

The person behind the front desk looks up. *Cue the negative self talk in my head. "He thinks I'm fat. He's wondering why I'm here. What ARE you doing here Bethany?"
"That class is full," he says without pausing.

Note that it had never occurred to me that it might be full
"You can take the beginning intermediate teen/adult class that's about to start."

Panic, eek.. Ah...
"No that's okay."

3 months later I was more prepared. Armed with confirmation of my early registration and a renewed sense of confidence I entered the studio again. It was a little intimidating, but only because folks seemed to know each other from the first session. Still, my muscle memory allowed me to tendu and plie right along with the other students.
The second class, I thought I would be more calm. Instead, I was panicked. I called my cousin for a pep talk.
"Beth, you love dance. And you might be nervous but your heart wants this. Don't let your heart and body miss out because your mind is trying to talk you out of it."

Oooooh wise words Keri.

So, yeah. It's gotten a little smoother. And, I still skipped class today. I'm the biggest girl in there. Correction the biggest person in there. But that's been the case most of my dance career. But I don't think that's why I skipped today. I think it's like an old friend that I kind of forgot I wanted and needed in my life. I have have to be patient as we get reacquainted.

I think I'll get some proper dance clothes. Not that I can't dance in my Padres tee, but it'll be fun to be in class with tights and dance shorts and a shirt that allows me to see my form, even the parts that I feel self-conscious about.
And I'll definitely go back to class.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wooo! I love perspective!

I love that today as I start this blog and thinking about weight loss in a new way I also happen upon Oprah's article about Roger Ebert. After years of battling cancer and numerous surgeries he says:
Roger's struggles and triumphs were captured in a March 2010 Esquire magazine article, which ran with a portrait of Roger's new face. "People ask if I mind about Esquire running that photograph of me looking like this," he says through his computer. "I don't mind at all. Nobody looks perfect. We have to find peace with the way we look and get on with life."

Although there is a reconstruction procedure available, Roger says he's done with surgery. "I'm not going to talk or eat or drink again, so the surgery would only be to patch my face back together," he says. "I don't want to go through that. This is the way I look and my life is happy and productive, so why have any more surgery?"

I got chills as I read that. Just such a beautiful perspective. As I take steps towards losing weight, I want to remember that feeling of deep gratitude. I am so thankful for all the things I do in this body. I can run and love and do yoga, and laugh and lift my nieces high in the air, and create work I care about, and dance, and hug, and so much more. As I work to get healthier I remember it is so that I can feel stronger and healthier and love my body more and more each day.

Here we go!

You've seen Dr. Oz, right?

He gets guests up on stage and says "It's time to tell the truth". His truth tube gets folks to look at where they are at right now. Not yesterday or some undetermined time in the future. But right now. The truth tube.
There's something to that idea.
This blog is my little truth tube. A chance to share where I'm at as I move along this journey of losing weight and gaining self. Or rather, B getting hot! (If I can't keep my sense of humor about it, then what's the point right?)

So yeah, here's what you can expect from me....
-Daily (well, at least really regular posts) sharing my efforts in the moment to lose weight.
-The truth

What I hope I can get from you...
-Your listening ear and heart along the way because this is tough!
-Your commitment to keeping this private. I'm feeling brave. But not quite ready to broadcast my truth tube into syndication.
-Comments or advice if you feel so moved

Thanks for listening! Here we go!