Sunday, April 4, 2010

Slippery slope alert

Last night I went to a banquet honoring one of my favorite teachers up here in the bay area. I had planned ahead and knew I was going to leave myself room to splurge a little, including having 1 glass of wine.

I had 2 glasses. Along with a second and third helping of too many eats to name. They brought out at least 10 courses (not kidding) and though we shared the eats with the other 9 members of the table, I found myself splurging a bit more than I needed to. Not stuffing myself, but definitely eating more what I'd accounted for in a "little splurge".

This post is more about me being accountable and wanting to share the great stuff (going to ballet three weeks in a row) and the stuff that doesn't necessarily move me closer to a weight loss goal (why did those desserts have to be so tasty?)

I needed to clarify mostly for myself. I'm working hard not to personally feel "bad" or "guilty" about splurges and instead to see it as a part of an ongoing relationship shift with food. Developing a healthier sense of what role food has in my life and which foods can help me move closer to my goal of losing weight and being healthy.

Also, it won't do any good to replace shame I feel about my weight, with shame about the foods I eat. Shame is shame and it doesn't have a place in the healthier sense of self I am working hard to build.

Friday night and Saturday night not such amazing choices in food, but I'm tracking it, so it doesn't turn into a week of unhealthy choices! Onward!

3 comments:

  1. As you are already doing, yep, chalk it up and move on. I'm guessing that last night's "splurge" would have been the regular routine not so long ago, right? At least, it would have been for me. So consider yourself already making a big positive change in labeling it a worthy splurge, allowing yourself to enjoy the deliciousness of the occasion, and coming back to your goals the next day without missing a beat. That's called life!!

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  2. Yes! Exactly LB. I think it was a bit of an "i can eat that if I want to" like the diet rebel from the article Rachel sent me. Combined with not really knowing how to get momentum around healthier options. So the norm really was like one continuous splurge! What I'm trying to realize is, yes, I am an adult and I can eat whatever I want. But what a joy to realize thats true and also means that I'm an adult and responsible for moving myself towards my goals to be healthy. Not sure if I'm articulating it quite the way it feels.

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  3. I agree. I don't think we should deny ourselves those occasional splurges as long as we keep on track with our goals the rest of the time. They always say "everything in moderation". It's fun to indulge every so often (it makes life more fun), as long as they're not too often, but just enjoy those moments and keep up the good work!

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