That's all I could think about for the first 15 minutes of my workout this morning. Yes, harsh, I know.
I met up with Coleen for some treadmill time (did I mention it snowed in SF on Friday). I didn't have a specific goal in mind, but I guess about 30 minutes or so seemed good. I love that 30 minutes of running seemed so impossible a month ago and now "if I can get in 30 minutes that'd be sufficient" haha. But 5 minutes into todays run I started getting those pains in my legs again. The ones I talked about in this post.
C looked over from the elliptical machine and mouthed "you okay". Clearly the look of sheer panic on my face had been a give away that something was wrong.
I pointed to my calf and frowned.
"It's okay. Just take it slow." She tried reassuring me but it took another minute or two before I eased down into a walk and started taking some deep breaths.
"You're probably just dehydrated", I heard Coleen say.
I just kept breathing, trying not to suck in the air too fast, but instead keeping the breaths even and deep. I tried imagining that my deep breaths were traveling all the way down to the cramp in my legs, easing the pain.
"This is a terrible, horrible, no good workout Bethany. What's the matter with you!" is NOT the mantra I wanted on repeat but it kept popping up. Breathe. Breathe. About 6 or 7 minutes later the cramps in my legs had eased up a bit and I upped the speed on the treadmill. 3.8 mph... 4.0... 4.5.... I tried to think of long strides and deep breaths.
This may sound like a whole lot of processing for a treadmill workout, but I really did have to talk myself down. And this is a part of training right? Some days are going to feel great and some are going to be tougher. I gotta ease up on the whole negative self talk thing if I'm going to do this and this. A ton of emotions swirling, plus yesterdays 5 to 1 alcohol to water ratio, left my legs feeling like lead (more on the whole alcohol conversation in another post).
But they weren't lead and I was able to lift them, a step at a time. And I ran for 15 minutes or so and then did a nice long cool down. So total it was a 45 minute run/walk/run/walk/cool down and a distance of 2.5 miles. Not too bad for a morning when I didn't even want to get out of bed. We headed back to C's for coffee and a yummy egg and tofurky sausage scramble. A perfect start to the day actually. I'm heading into the rest of the day trying to keep coming back to those kinder "self-love" filled thoughts. Wish me luck!