Oh me, that's who.
More like an ostrich-- only instead of burying my head in the sand, I was pulling the covers tightly over my head and ignoring the running shoes that I'd placed neatly by my bed the night before.
Saturday was a long run that actually sounded fun. The group was running across the Golden Gate bridge and into Sausalito and then catching the ferry back across to the city. How lovely right? But I was freaked out! I was nervous I wouldn't be able to keep up and that I would hold people back and that I wasn't strong enough and that I was dehydrated and that I didn't have a banana or something to eat before the run-- whew! That's a lot to combat at 7am in the morning when you're not quite awake.
I had been feeling so brave with all of my new exercises: snowshoeing and biking and yoga'ing. But this run had me terrified.
I was being mega consistent with my runs and since I got de-railed I just haven't had that.... umph. I need to stop looking for it outside of myself and instead decide I'm going to run and do it. Even if I am slow (and much slower than I was before when I was running consistently).
The race is still 2 1/2 months away and I still have a choice to be participate in the race stronger and more present than I am now.
As I'm writing this post I feel a dejavu moment where I've been in this place before. All derailed and discouraged. But I suppose that is just part of the process, right? If it was in a straight line with no speedbumps or potholes, I promise I'd follow it.
Hmmm is it that easy? And it's me that's making the speedbumps and potholes?